Develop Trust With Emotional Intelligence

People want leaders they can trust.

So say countless workplace surveys, and books and articles on leadership, but what is trust and how do you develop it? Trust is the confidence that I have in you to BE genuine, predictable, safe, principled, congruent and competent.

Trust forms the foundation for successful workplace and personal relationships, effective communication and collaboration. Employee retention, and employee motivation are dependent on trust.When trust exists in an organization or in a relationship, almost everything else is easier and more comfortable to achieve. The degree to which you are trustworthy will determine the value of your personal brand and your career or entrepreneurial success.  So how do you increase your trustworthiness? Here's three important ways:

First Trust Yourself

Trust Yourself. Stop and ask yourself about yourself: What are you certain of? What do you stand for? What are you competent in? What are you confident about?  Your answers are the expression of True You and the foundation of your Personal Authority - knowing what is true for you and living it in the world.

Carolyn was a participant in one of my recent training programs who kept looking for confidence  from without. She had multiple degrees and certifications and she was in this program to get yet another certification. She equated her degrees not with learning but with credibility and personal worth. She was reluctant to speak or take a stand when a question or problem was posed and deferred to other participants.  She frequently asked questions about how to defend herself when challenged by others about being correct. And her voice inflection made her statements always sound like questions. If you listened to her you would not place much trust in her.

Be sure in what and who you are and make your choices on this foundation of self trust. Your sense of value and certainty can only come from within. Nothing external to you can provide that. When you trust yourself, that trust is radiated outward to inspire and influence others.

Develop Your Emotional Intelligence

Begin with increasing your ability to recognize your own emotions and their affect on your thoughts and choices. When you are aware of your emotions you can be more clear, present and centered. When you use your emotions to inform your decision-making rather than be compelled by them, your choices reflect your own values and purpose. Repeated purpose-centered decisions lead to certainty. And, managing your emotions effectively enables you to act with confidence. Carolyn's seeking of confirmation of her value from others keeps her from feeling her anxiety. As she develops her ability to be present to her own feelings, she will lose her dependence and be more trustworthy.

Be Congruent

Express the True You in thought, word and deed. You have heard the expression "walking the talk." People want to trust that you say what you will do and do what you say, but there's more. Being congruent means being aligned  - your insides match your outsides. Your feelings and thoughts and how you express them are consistent and authentic. When you express authentically, you set up a resonance with others - an invisible force field in which trust is given and received.

EQ Tip: Ask yourself, Where can I trust myself today? How can I express my thoughts and feelings more authentically?

Notice how a conscious shift in you affects others?

Joseph Liberti

Copyright 1998-2007 Joseph Liberti. All rights reserved. Joseph Liberti coaches leaders and coaches to liberate authentic self through the development of emotional intelligence. Feel free to copy and distribute this article as long as you keep this credit. For more tips on developing authentic self visit Joseph's other blog True You 

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