5 Ways To Overcome The Bad Boss Syndrome With Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence At Work: 5 Ways To Overcome The Bad Boss Syndrome With Emotional Intelligence

"'People don't leave organizations they leave supervisors."

That statement has been written so many times in the last five years that it would be boring if it were not so true, so sad and so expensive. Study after study cite the supervisor-employee relationship as a main threat to retention. The issue has been so prevalent that counselors have even coined a term for sufferers - "Bad Boss Syndrome." What's at the heart of this issue and how do you fix it?

Employees complain that they are not recognized and valued, are treated arbitrarily. They say they are blamed and threatened instead of acknowledged, and that their supervisor communicates harshly or even abusively. The effect of that perception of the working relationship is getting more and more expensive. When labor was plentiful companies could simply rehire. Now as the war for talent spreads to more and more industries and occupations, finding replacement talent is difficult and turnover costs are 150 to 500 percent of salary!

Are You A "Bad" Boss?

Do your employees consider you a bad boss? are you truly aware of how they perceive you? If someone anonymously slipped you this article, that might be a clue. If you are labeled a bad boss I don't believe it is because you are a "bad" person. Employees, writers and consultants call you a jerk and one writer who has gained some national notoriety lately, is calling you a name I won't print. I don't think that at heart that is who you are. If you have a bad rep I think you probably:

• Have a lot on your plate
• Are under pressure to perform
• May be in over your head
• Don't know a better way
• Are scared
• Fight to stay in control
• Have your identity and value attached to the results you produce
• Don't get the support you need

And like all the rest of us never got much in the way of emotional intelligence development from family schools, business and society.

It's Your Choice

The burden of change is on you. You can ignore the issue and try harder to do what you do, but sooner or later the problem is going to catch up with you. When companies finally figure out that it costs them more to keep a "bad boss" than to get things done, they will replace you with someone who can create employee engagement and retention.

5 Ways To Use Emotional Intelligence

Fortunately you can develop and use your emotional intelligence to forge more effective working relationships that are more satisfying to your employees. Here's 5 things to do:

1. Muster up the courage and commit to change. I know it is sometimes scary to change but I promise you can do it. First you must choose to commit. then, start small but be consistent.
2. Solicit people's feelings and just listen. A leader I once had as a coaching client started by simply asking, genuinely, "And how do you feel about that?" in conversations with direct reports about current issues. and improved relationships. You don't have to fix them. Just hear them!
3. Spend an hour, one day a week, going around and authentically acknowledge people for what they do. Find something you can compliment and tell them why you personally appreciate what they have done.
4. Become aware of your own emotions and how they drive you. As you become aware and name your emotions as they arise, you will stop sabotaging your communication and your results with your reactions. Keep in mind that you can antagonize or positively influence but you can't do them both at the same time. What do you really want to have happen?
5. Give up the idea that there is not enough time to engage with people. That's a logical fiction you made up to protect yourself. OK, you may be a little clumsy at first but it gets better. The truth is you will save the time the you are now losing to employee dissatisfaction and having to do something over again to get it right.

If you are struggling with this and really want support, submit the free coaching request.

I believe in you.

Joseph Liberti
EQ At Work

Copyright 1998-2007 Joseph Liberti. All rights reserved. Joseph Liberti coaches leaders and coaches to liberate authentic self through the development of emotional intelligence. Feel free to copy and distribute this article as long as you keep this credit. For more excerpts from Joseph's new book visit the True You Blog.

Comments

[Jane27Byers]

I received my first credit loans when I was 32 and it helped me a lot. But, I need the short term loan once again.

[Joseph Liberti]

Hi David,

Thanks for your agreement on no boss bashing. Hopefully you and I and others like us can help put a stop to the "we against them" culture. As you know, attacking each other doesn't improve things but perpetuates workplace conflict. I have a follow up post coming for this that you will relate to. If I can support you in any way call on me.

Best,
Joseph

[David Zinger]

Joseph:

I appreciated your perspective and suggestions.

I especially liked that you did not disparage or attack bad bosses. Your suggestions were quite helpful.

I wrote a short post on my employee engagement blog to encourage readers to not only read this post but other fine posts you have written at this blog.

Keep up the fine work Joseph.

David