Emotional Intelligence Tip: Using Humor To Build Rapport
Building rapport is a valuable skill of emotional intelligence. When you establish a real connection between yourself and others you can transcend differences and create a context of possibility where all solutions are possible. One of the techniques we teach in our advanced EQ coaching class is called "enrollment" - the process of building extraordinary rapport and getting buy-in for your ideas or activities. Enrollment is essentially the process of invitation and acceptance. You invite, they accept - connection made. I frequently like to do this with appropriate humor and I recently had an experience that is a great example of mutual connection.
What's Appropriate?
When I say appropriate I mean genuine and effective. Humor that is non-judgmental, conscious and not harmful to anyone. In this case I used humor as an icebreaker.
Tell 'em Mike Sent You
I had been referred to an auto transmission repair shop and the mechanic making the recommendations said, "Tell 'em Mike sent you." When I called, I chose to take the opportunity to enroll and create rapport. My invitation: "Mike over at A-1 told me to call and he said you were the only place in town to get my transmission fixed." The warm acceptance: "that's exactly what we pay him to say."
In that brief transaction we connected and we created a relationship. I felt confident, trusting that I was in the right place. He stopped what he was doing and gave his undivided attention to his new "friend."
Something else that works well for me is to make myself the focus of the humor and ask,"have you ever been in that situation/" or "do you know what that's like?"
EQ Tip: Try Inviting connection with genuine, appropriate humor.
Joseph Liberti
EQ At Work
Copyright 1998-2007 Joseph Liberti. All rights reserved. Joseph Liberti coaches leaders and coaches to liberate authentic self through the development of emotional intelligence. Feel free to copy and distribute this article as long as you keep this credit. For more excerpts from Joseph's new book visit the True You Blog.
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