Use Your Anger To Gain Clarity

You can use your anger with emotional intelligence to gain clarity and make better decisions.

Bhudda said, "Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." With all respect to Bhudda, holding onto your anger briefly, with emotional intelligence, can dissipate it's energy and it's ability to compel your behavior and... open up new possibilities.

Anger is frequently a cover up for something else. For example:  You react with anger when someone cuts  you off on the freeway but what is really happening is you got scared when you thought your life was at risk. Or, you are irritated with the impending changes at work and resist but what's really going on is you are fearful of losing security. Working with your anger briefly reveals deeper meaning and enables better choices.

EQ Tip: Try this. Hold onto your anger briefly, focus your attention on it and have this conversation with yourself.

1. I am angry.
2. This anger is about me.
3. What does it have to teach me?
4. What is it that I don't want to know or admit?
5. What else is it I don't want to feel?
6. How am I kidding myself?
7. What do I really want?

Joseph Liberti
EQ At Work

Copyright 1998-2007 Joseph Liberti. All rights reserved. Joseph Liberti coaches leaders and coaches to liberate authentic self through the development of emotional intelligence. Feel free to copy and distribute this article as long as you keep this credit. For more excerpts from Joseph's new book visit the True You Blog.

Comments

[Joseph Liberti]

Thank you Ritergal,

I'd be pleased to have your perspectives on the challenges writers face and I'll post some specific applications of EQ for them. I appreciate your feedback!

[Ritergal]

A couple of months ago I began paying attention to feelings, labeling them, and describing the attendant sensations as fully as possible. I generally do this mentally, on the fly, as a self-monitoring process, but when they are intense, I may write a few paragraphs about them. I began doing this to broaden my palette of descriptive terms when writing, and found that it's had terrific personal benefit too.

This post gives a tool for delving even more deeply into anger -- and possibly other intense emotions. I feel certain that this expansion will also have benefits for character development as well as my own serenity.

I'm so glad I chanced across your blog. Had you thought of the applications of your work for writers (and maybe other artists as well)? Keep up the great work.