Emotional Intelligence Tip: Good Vibrations From Validation
To positively influence others or manage conflict you first need to connect - to create rapport or resonance. Sometimes the situation can make connection challenging but one thing that is uniquely effective is validation. Yesterday I was treated to a great experience and example of this when Jane called.
"Hello this is Jane from LDS calling," she said. "If anything can go wrong ...
If It Could Happen It Happened To You
"Hello this is Jane from LDS calling," she said. "If anything can go wrong getting started with our service, it all seemed to happen to you. First you experienced disappointment with a bad product, then you were frustrated by a long wait while we corrected the problem and even had to worry about errors in billing. I'm happy to say we've got it all straightened out now. Do you have a few minutes to talk?"
Validating Emotional Experience
In that opening statement, delivered in a genuinely sincere and caring way, she had not only indicated her understanding, but she validated my emotional experience. She established a connection with me that created trust and ease as well as possibility. It was more than just the words of acknowledgment, she resonated genuine interest in me - my feelings and my concerns. It was infectious.
We went on to talk about other issues of importance to me and I felt comfortable to be very open and transparent. She did more than listen, she heard, and she communicated that by validating my experience throughout the conversation. I left that conversation with confidence in Jane and her company and genuine appreciation.
EQ Tip: Recognize other's emotional experience and validate them to achieve extraordinary rapport. Who can you try this with next?
Joseph Liberti
EQ At Work
Copyright 1998-2007 Joseph Liberti. All rights reserved. Joseph Liberti coaches leaders and coaches to liberate authentic self through the development of emotional intelligence. Feel free to copy and distribute this article as long as you keep this credit. For more excerpts from Joseph's new book visit the True You Blog.
Comments