When you have a “bad” boss you can suffer, complain, leave or use emotional intelligence to improve your lot.
There is no shortage of bad boss horror stories. Almost everyone seems to have one, and complaining is such a favorite pastime that the AFL CIO has capitalized on the popular issue and is now running its second annual contest to discover “who has the worst boss in America.” Among the judges are Robert Sutton of “A word” fame mentioned in a previous post and Jane Fonda, who starred in the bad boss movie “9 To 5.”
Yes, I know there’s a lot of ugly truth to the stories but I believe that demonizing bad bosses is divisive and makes the problem more difficult to solve and it sure doesn’t help you much if you have one. It is more valuable to recognize that bosses are just people like you and me with their own unique problems and issues. Author and social activist Barbara Ehrenreich, in her article Bosses and Bossism asks us to consider the issue is not just the people but the system and says:
“Much as I'd like to see all these miscreants brought to justice--in something like the "thought reform" camps of the Chinese Cultural Revolution--I tend to think the emphasis on bad bosses is a little misguided. The problem isn't particular bosses, but what I call "Bossism"--the hierarchical system that governs all known bureaucracies, both public and private. Giving one person huge power over others is like giving a 3-year-old a hose: Not everyone will get soaked, but the chances of coming out dry are slender.”
5 Ways To Use Emotional Intelligence
Changing the system may take some time and meanwhile where do you turn for help with your boss situation? Turn to yourself. By using emotional intelligence you can change yourself and positively deal with the situation and, by the way, help bring about more rapid change of the system. Here are 5 things to do now:



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The following is a request for advice that I received and my response. I removed the names to protect the privacy of the writer. The writer wants to know what do do after a bad boss wrecked her life. I hope that posting this letter and answer will support and inspire others. Your comments are welcome.
Hello Mr. Liberti,
The past year has been absolute hell for me. My bullying boss caused me to go out on stress leave; then ultimately have a nervous breakdown, two suicide attempts - result? multiple psych diagnosis’ and medications and finally, loss of my job. He destroyed my reputation within the organization, and has left me with somewhat a form of PTSD that for now, prevents me from answering to a manager.
Our lives are now in shambles as I have lost an $84,000 a year job and we live off my husbands $3000 per month before taxes. Needless to say, we are on the verge of bankruptcy and possibly losing our house while I try to get well and overcome the trauma this man has caused me and my family. I don’t feel as if I have any way of getting restitution. I’m left with constant thoughts that it is not right that he should be able to destroy somebody’s life the way he has done mine and get away with it. What would your advice be?
Most desperately wishing somebody would help me,
(Name withheld to protect this writer's privacy.)