Emotional Intelligence At Work

5 Ways To Deal With A Bad Boss Using Emotional Intelligence

When you have a “bad” boss you can suffer, complain, leave or use emotional intelligence to improve your lot.

There is no shortage of bad boss horror stories. Almost everyone seems to have one, and complaining is such a favorite pastime that the AFL CIO has capitalized on the popular issue and is now running its second annual contest to discover “who has the worst boss in America.”  Among the judges are Robert Sutton of “A word” fame mentioned in a previous post and Jane Fonda, who starred in the bad boss movie “9 To 5.” 

Yes, I know there’s a lot of ugly truth to the stories but I believe that demonizing bad bosses is divisive and makes the problem more difficult to solve and it sure doesn’t help you much if you have one.  It is more valuable to recognize that bosses are just people like you and me with their own unique problems and issues.  Author and social activist Barbara Ehrenreich, in her article Bosses and Bossism asks us to consider the issue is not just the people but the system and says:

“Much as I'd like to see all these miscreants brought to justice--in something like the "thought reform" camps of the Chinese Cultural Revolution--I tend to think the emphasis on bad bosses is a little misguided.  The problem isn't particular bosses, but what I call "Bossism"--the hierarchical system that governs all known bureaucracies, both public and private.  Giving one person huge power over others is like giving a 3-year-old a hose: Not everyone will get soaked, but the chances of coming out dry are slender.”

5 Ways To Use Emotional Intelligence

Changing the system may take some time and meanwhile where do you turn for help with your boss situation? Turn to yourself. By using emotional intelligence you can change yourself and positively deal with the situation and, by the way, help bring about more rapid change of the system. Here are 5 things to do now:

Click here to read the rest of the story

Paul MacLane Emotional Intelligence Pioneer Dies

Paul Maclane, neuroscientist and emotional intelligence pioneer died at age 94. I have taught MacLean's concepts of the brain in my emotional intelligence >classes for many years as a useful way of understanding "emotional hijack," A term coined by Daniel Goleman.  "Emotional Hijacking" Goleman says, occurs when the amygdala, a part of the emotional brain identified by MacLane, triggers the fight or flight mechanism in response to perceived threat, and emotion overpowers the rational brain. Extract of the obituary from the New York Times follows:

MacLean - Obituary - New York Times: "Paul MacLean, 94, Neuroscientist Who Devised ‘Triune Brain’ Theory, Dies Dr. Paul D. MacLean, a neuroscientist and psychiatrist who developed the intriguing theory of the ‘triune brain’ to explain its evolution and to try to reconcile rational human behavior with its more primal and violent side, died on Dec. 26 in Potomac, Md. He was 94." Dr. MacLean (pronounced mac-LANE) termed the brain’s center of emotions the limbic system, and described an area that includes structures called the hippocampus and amygdala. Developing observations made by Dr. James W. Papez of Cornell, he proposed that the limbic system had evolved in early mammals to control fight-or-flight responses and react to both emotionally pleasurable and painful sensations. The concept is now broadly accepted in neuroscience.

Technorati Tags: emotional intelligence

Technorati Tags: Daniel Goleman

Emotional Intelligence for Hiring

Employers are now more looking to: 1. Become employers of choice by creating an emotionally intelligent culture through training and development. 2. Hiring for emotional intelligence. Here are two rules for hiring from NY Times and Monster (with my comments) Hiring the Best People -- 10 Simple Rules: "2. Hire for Attitude Rather than Skill (Attitude is EQ) Teaching skills is a snap compared with doing attitude transplants. Among the qualities you'll want most is a fierce sense of optimism. (An EQ skill) 3. Look for Renegades In interviews, ask when the person has been in trouble. The obedient employee will be of limited use to you in this change-up environment. ((Do they mean authentic instead of politically correct, socialized and dependent?) " (Via .) Be well, Joseph PS Want info on the terrific Genos Emotional Intelligence Recruitment Assessment? Write me at jliberti@eqatwork.com

Technorati Tags: emotional intelligence, Work, Hiring

» Emotional Intelligence and Faces « Brain Fitness Revolution at SharpBrains

» Emotional Intelligence and Faces   « Brain Fitness Revolution at SharpBrains     : "Paul Ekman has conducted extensive research on identifying emotions through facial expressions. As part of that research, and as part of the power of discipline and training, he learned how to consciously manipulate 42 facial muscles, including many that in most of us are beyond our control, and even awareness."

(Via .)

New Emotional Intelligence Webinar Tells "How To"

The real question about emotional intelligence still is not "Does emotional intelligence work?" but rather, "How do I get it to work for me?"

Ten years ago when I founded EQ At Work the most frequent comment regarding emotional intelligence I heard sounded like this: "I read about EQ and I'm convinced it's great, but how do I develop my own EQ?" Back then, there was plenty of information about why EQ was a good thing and mounting evidence of how it improved workplace performance and improved quality of life. But, there was a obvious shortage of  information on what to do. Today, years later, there's more "how to" information available but people are still looking for answers.

To provide answers EQ At Work is sponsoring a free webinar. The webinar details the key ingredients for development and previews two new development courses, using proven EQ At Work methods, that are inexpensive and that you can participate in from the comfort of your own home or office. Details follow the break. Click to view the schedule and enroll now.

Living With Emotional Intelligence
…How to develop your EQ to improve your work and your life

Worldwide Support For The Environment - 50 Resources and Ways For You To Help

Today bloggers everywhere are writing in support of the environment.

If those millions of blog readers who read environmental Blog Action Day posts today each get one small idea, thought, new habit, or piece of advice, then Blog Action Day has been a huge success. The world doesn’t change in huge leaps, it changes in small increments. One way for you to get involved is to learn more about the environment and find ways that you can help make a difference. In this article you will find more than 50 links to resources about the environment. Many of them provide ways for you to contribute or take action on your own, with your kids, family and neighborhood. I do not endorse any one environmental charity but here's a way to check out the charity you are thinking of donating to for a rating on their efficiency. Find out how much of your money will go to making a difference at http://www.charitynavigator.org/

One way to stay up to date is to subscribe to an RSS feed providing environmental news and here are three:

National Geographic: http://news.nationalgeographic.com/rss/environment.rss About Environment Articles: http://z.about.com/6/g/environment/b/rss2.xml Earth Justice: http://www.earthjustice.org/system/rss/channel.jsp?subsiteID=27011570&feed=feed-29981034 Today many people are taking some personal action to support our environment. Some are making contributions, others are reducing waste, cutting back on consumption, sharing energy saving tips and I even read about one man who pledged his next year's salary. Whatever you do will help and here's simple way: Commit to saving this post and checking out the links to the environmental resources within it, one at a time. Becoming more informed about the hazards and the opportunities is one way to make a difference. You will find something in the list fgor every special interes, the air the sea the land, kids, politics, media and more. Share the list with your friends and family and respect and enjoy our planet. Thank you! Joseph Liberti

Here's the list at my main blog:

Technorati Tags: blog action day, Environment, personal responsibility, global warming

Be a bad boss victim or choose again?

With emotional intelligence combined with personality responsibility you can consciously choose the life you live and live the life you choose.

The following is a request for advice that I received and my response. I removed the names to protect the privacy of the writer. The writer wants to know what do do after a bad boss wrecked her life. I hope that posting this letter and answer will support and inspire others. Your comments are welcome. Hello Mr. Liberti, The past year has been absolute hell for me. My bullying boss caused me to go out on stress leave; then ultimately have a nervous breakdown, two suicide attempts - result? multiple psych diagnosis’ and medications and finally, loss of my job. He destroyed my reputation within the organization, and has left me with somewhat a form of PTSD that for now, prevents me from answering to a manager. Our lives are now in shambles as I have lost an $84,000 a year job and we live off my husbands $3000 per month before taxes. Needless to say, we are on the verge of bankruptcy and possibly losing our house while I try to get well and overcome the trauma this man has caused me and my family. I don’t feel as if I have any way of getting restitution. I’m left with constant thoughts that it is not right that he should be able to destroy somebody’s life the way he has done mine and get away with it. What would your advice be? Most desperately wishing somebody would help me, (Name withheld to protect this writer's privacy.) Read my answer (main blog):

Technorati Tags: emotional intelligence, self-esteem, Work, choice

3 Ways To Deal With Obnoxious People Using Emotional Intelligence

Dealing with obnoxious people at work requires steadfast application of your emotional intelligence.

People who are behaving in a way you think obnoxious are probably in a state of emotional hijack - cognitively disabled and run by impulse. Three ways to deal with them:

1. Don't join them! Don't let yourself be hijacked too. Connect with your sense of purpose. Breathe, count do what you must but stay present and positive.

2. Try to validate their emotional experience. EG "I understand how you might be angry (or anxious or frustrated etc) about this." This doesn't always work but frequently helps defuse  emotional hijack.

3.  Don't make it personal. Don't attribute malicious intent towards you. Tell yourself "this is not about me." Because, it isn't. They may be being insensitive and ignorant but it's because of their emotional blinds spots - not about you. 

Here's what Daniel Goleman recently wrote about civility.

Link: Civility at Work at Daniel Goleman - Author of Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence.

In the emotional intelligence model, self-awareness and managing our emotions well are the keys to self-mastery. Once we stabilize in a positive state, we can become senders of that positivity to others. And that suggests one strategy for dealing with an obnoxious encounter – stay calm and clear, be firm but friendly. Because every interaction is a system, this can have a positive impact on the other person. And even if they do not change how they are acting, we can leave their negativity behind as we go on to the next encounter.

Bad Bosses: Boost Your Emotional Intelligence or Get Sued

If you are a "bad boss" you ought to consider boosting your emotional intelligence before you get sued.

Maybe you are not the ogre or abusive jerk distressed workers, writers and websites are talking about. Maybe you are just overworked and under skilled. (See my article:  5 Ways To Overcome Bad Boss Syndrome) But with growing pressure for change you may have to shape up or pay up.

A bill in New Jersey would give an individual the right to seek as much as $25,000 in damages if an employer created "an abusive work environment." Similar measures are pending in New York state, Vermont and Washington state. In California, a Sacramento-based group called California Healthy Workplace Advocates is working to revive a sue-the-boss bill that died in committee in 2003. Source: Is the boss a real piece of work? - Los Angeles Times

Whether or not you think you are a bad boss, it is important to know how your employees perceive you. Do they see you as someone who is empathetic or insensitive? Do you appear to be demonstrating mature emotional self-control or are you seen as someone who frequently "loses it" and subjects them to your emotional outbursts? Do they fear you and find you unapproachable?

You could ask them and find out - if they are not too afraid to tell you. Another good way

Read the rest of the story

Free Won’t: The Marshmallow Test Revisited at Daniel Goleman - Author of Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence

Link: Free Won’t: The Marshmallow Test Revisited at Daniel Goleman - Author of Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence.

“free won’t,” the capacity to squelch an impulse.

By their very nature impulses come unexpectedly and unbidden, from the mind’s unconscious. But once they come, we have choice: to act on the impulse or not. The capacity to “just say no” to dangerous impulses is one mark of emotional intelligence.

Seth Godin on being Authentic

Eugene Kates stood for something. What do you stand for?

In an age of 'the customer is king', Eugene was an anachronism. He never said things to make people happy, didn't sugar coat his point of view and he didn't compromise. Link: Seth's Blog: Authentic.

A lovely blog post. Nicely said.

Joseph Liberti